Well, i have decided that it's time to get real about who i want to be for the rest of my life and the longer i put off the commitment to making the changes the harder it will be. SOOOOO I started. I started doing the Insanity workout with mikeBlair in Dec 2010 and started Weight Watchers this month.
I am have decided to make the healthy choices for ME. And be the example for my family that i can be proud of. I have also decided that i am going to try to do my ranting here. These changes have resurfaced some insecurity and have been kinda a roller coaster for me lately.
It has been nice to workout with mikeBlair. In our past, i have asked him to walk with me or somethings of a similar intensity and he's such an athlete that he CAN'T... He says if he's gonna take the time to do anything it's not gonna be walk, he'd rather run. So he stays home, and i feel bad for doing something away from the family, AND i don't stick to it. That being said, when he asked me to do this Insanity workout, I was thinking; 1. YIPPEE something to do together 2. Oh crap... Insanity?!?! BUT i gave it a chance and i'm so glad i did! Don't get me wrong, it sucks! It's not my kinda fun, the music is nonexistent. It's just an INTENSE (Insane) work out! BUT i really like doing it with mikeBlair. The accountability is perfect and i don't have the guilt of leaving the whole family to do it. We are doing it in the basement, which has it's own challenges(a dif blog on a dif day). But it has kept me at it, to not disappoint him.
He is very encouraging. Even tho i was honest with him and told him that the last time i was this outta breath was in elementary school, when the PE teacher(Mrs. Mac) made us run laps. It brings back all those feelings of being a fat little girl trying to keep up and do what the teacher says, meanwhile my throat is closing up, i can't get enuf air, my face is turning red and i'm white around the mouth. It's just not been my M.O. to exert myself to the point of exhaustion, physically. So here i am in my 30's...doing woooorrk.
We shall see.
I'm so proud of you, tif. It's going to be worth it - you'll feel so much better all around - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And we'll celebrate with a gelato in Italy. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna be one hot mama by then! I hope we don't hafta fight off the beautiful Italian men :) That'll just be obnoxious :)
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